Party planning

To make a party flow one must have stations. These are my recommendations for my future self when party planning. 

1. Drink station. Stocked with juice, water , tea, punch, sparkling beverage, alcohol of choice. 

2. Appetizer station. Dip. Crunch. Veggie. Fruit. Of season of course

3. Main course

4. Dessert

5. Always provide a card game or other entertainment and music. 

Fuck the phone company.

Fuck the phone company. Why everytime I come here do you fuck me over. I could have paid a transfer fee for $35 but no you fucking told me I had to pay an activation fee for $30 and come back to the store 3 fucking times to try and set up. 

I asks you what are the fees? You can't tell me. It's like a fuckig mystery. That needs to be read in tea leaves. You tell me one price and I come back the next day and it's another. 

Fuck you

You mother fuckers. Die die die. You have me by the balls. It's not like not having a phone is even an option. You charge $100 a month or more for a single phone. You say I must sign a two year contract. Who know what is in that fine print. What have I done?! If I cancel I will lose my first born child. But hey maybe that's not such a bad thing let them feed and board her ass through college. You stupid phone person staring at me with wide blank eyes pretending you don't understand what I'm asking. Casting serious shade. Wasting away my hours and life. I feel like I am on an episode of reality tv like boiling point where the poor unknowing victim is given an increasingly bad deal and the clerk fucks with them more and more until finally the customer explodes. But in that show the person gets a $100 bill at the end. Me I'm just going to feel like I got raped and violated by the phone company. 

Marriage.

Gay marriage legal in all 50 states! This is a great step of progress for humanity. I am for equal rights. And equal misery. Why shouldn't everyone be allowed to know the joy and misery of being legally bound to someone in matrimonial hell. Don't get me wrong there are perks to marriage. Like sharing debt, not having to cook everyday, sharing parenting duties, health insurance and having someone to help troubleshoot life's problems. But there are two sides to every coin. You also get someone to fight with full time over the smallest annoyances in life, you suddenly have to get permission to spend your money, make decisions about how you spend your time and that special person to fight over the blankets with, farts and snores and scrutinize your every move. I want to go to Korea for my friends wedding. But no. I'm not allowed to because I had to ask permission and was told no and a huge fight ensued because "why would I want to do that anyways". I want to go travel through SE Asia while I'm in japan. Again not allowed because the guy doesn't want me to go. If I was single parenting I could schedule it on my off time or find a sitter and just go without leaving behind an angry spouse that I have to return to and cohabitate with. 

No these things should not be Things only heterosexuals should enjoy. 

Let everyone have the equal opportunity at eternal bliss and misery! 

Everyone should be allowed to know the joys of parenting too! It makes you a better person. As I am writing this I just told Mikey to pull up his pants and  go do your homework because he was mooning his brother. I have Broken up multiple arguments about going to the pool. Negotiated like a pro hostage negotiater to get Mikey to unlock the door to his room and come out and sit down to do his homework. Ah Sunday morning.