Monday, May 25, 2015
Camping!
Two weeks in a row we have gone camping! The first weekend we traveled south to Akiyoshidai
A love letter to Japan.
Oh my sweet dear Japan. I fall more in love in love with you every day. Even as I sit here listening to the wails of sadness from my son because he wanted to go out to dinner with his dad even though he shrieked, cried and ran away and insisted that he didn't want to go out to dinner when he asked him to go before he left as he locked himself into his room in protest.
I digress.
Beck to my love. Today I bought a bunch of farm fresh veggies including asparagus, lettuce, sweet juicy tomatoes, and the most succulent and fragrant strawberries for $10. You feed me so well with your ripe bosom of produce. Always in season and available on every street corner like a good mistress. Ready to please me in any way I like.
When ever I go to the toilet, I am greeted by some wonderful luxurious experience, flower printed paper, cedar scented air, simulated flushing or babbling brook music, a warm seat to do my business, you give me full service cleaning and expect nothing back but a wave of my hand to dispose of my waste.
Another thing, when my kids are driving me insane and I feel like throwing them out of my car, you come to the rescue with a wonderful play land that is every child and parents fantasy! You whisk my kids away and allow me to have time to sit back and relax under a wisteria covered shade and smell your sweet scent.
I love you with all my heart and I can't tell you enough how much.
Xoxo
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
One thing I have thought about a lot over the past year is the significance of family and what that means. For a long time I tried to really "keep in touch" with my family. You see living and growing up in Alaska, I was several thousand miles away from my all of my family except for my mom and brother. Every summer and sometimes more frequentyl, we would travel to visit the family in Washington and spend time and money traveling to each persons house to catch up. One day a few years ago I had the realization that I have spent hundreds of hours sitting on my relatives couches in their homes and barely one of them has ever visited my home. I had spent thousands of dollars and time making sure that we saw each other and maintained relationships, but suddenly that day it all felt incredibly one sided. Its not that none of them ever took vacations or traveled to out of state destinations, however not once had they made the decision to come and visit me. It was this moment and realization that I had been having the same monotonous vacation visiting people that cared not to visit me that I decided to stop.
There is so much more out there, and i was done spending that energy on the people that didnt care to reciprocate. I was scared that this would mean that I would never see the family I loved and worked so hard to see every year. But I also decided that it was a very self serving behaviour that I was having and that those people have their own lives that they are busy leading. It was not my job to insert myself and my kids into their lives anymore.
Well guess what? It has been more than 2 years since I have spoken with my dad, he doesnt ever call me. It has been about the same since I have talked to or seen every aunt, uncle and cousin. Except that I broke my rule and went to a family function last Christmas with my mom, but I only did it because she asked me to. I love my mom, she will go out of her way and bend over backward to see and help each and every relative she has in their time of need; even though they have proven time and again that they would never do that for her. I guess I can thank her for the behavior I was exhibiting for so long regarding feeling obligated to maintain relationships that were obviously one sided.
Don't get me wrong, I do love them all. I love that I have so many aunts, uncles and cousins. I wish that we could have those Kennedy football games and all keep in touch regularly. But it is emotionally draining to spend your life trying to make and maintain connections that just aren't there.
There is so much more out there, and i was done spending that energy on the people that didnt care to reciprocate. I was scared that this would mean that I would never see the family I loved and worked so hard to see every year. But I also decided that it was a very self serving behaviour that I was having and that those people have their own lives that they are busy leading. It was not my job to insert myself and my kids into their lives anymore.
Well guess what? It has been more than 2 years since I have spoken with my dad, he doesnt ever call me. It has been about the same since I have talked to or seen every aunt, uncle and cousin. Except that I broke my rule and went to a family function last Christmas with my mom, but I only did it because she asked me to. I love my mom, she will go out of her way and bend over backward to see and help each and every relative she has in their time of need; even though they have proven time and again that they would never do that for her. I guess I can thank her for the behavior I was exhibiting for so long regarding feeling obligated to maintain relationships that were obviously one sided.
Don't get me wrong, I do love them all. I love that I have so many aunts, uncles and cousins. I wish that we could have those Kennedy football games and all keep in touch regularly. But it is emotionally draining to spend your life trying to make and maintain connections that just aren't there.
The Journey Begins: Full moon in Aquarius, blue moon, red moon, full sturgeon moon, green corn noon, grain moon.
We have been in Japan for twenty-one moons now. I want to write this blog to capture my time here, like a time capsule and to share the experience with anyone who might be interested. This will probably be a blog from my personal perspective as an adventurer, professional, mother, wife, etc. So here goes.
Before I get into the meat of my adventures i need to process the significance of this adventure. My time here has been so interesting with all signs pointing to pass go; by saying that i mean that it has been magical, mystical, significant. Everywhere I turn, things are pushing me towards success and realizing my dreams with my family. This might sound odd to anyone who isn't living this reality but maybe with my presentation of evidence you too will agree. Most people that know me, know that I have a special connection with the #34, so when I found out that my new home in Japan would be at 34 degrees latitude, I started to wonder if there were greater forces at work here and what was in store. Since arriving in Japan I have just been inundated with the #34, the cell phone # for the phone my sponsor handed me when he left me at the base lodging that first night; the phone number of the person I bought my truck from on the 34th day of being here, funny story is that I bought the truck on a whim after waking up for no reason at 0500 and seeing the exact truck i wanted posted to the FB classified ads only moments before, I had no idea when I woke up that day that I would buy a truck and be driving by noon.
We arrived in Japan on August 20 after a week long stay at the beach in Hawaii. We definitely needed that week of R&R as it was an escape that was sandwiched between two of the most stressful weeks of my life! Moreso that week served as a time for me to completely let go of the stress, hurt and bitterness that i had internalized from the treatment i had been subjected to from my bosses and family leading up to my departure. That week in Hawaii was a very special time filled with the therapy of swimming, cooking and eating with my dearest. The night we arrived in Iwakuni was a full moon, but not just any regular full moon it was a blue moon, the 3rd of 4 full moons in a single season, it was the full moon in Aquarius (my zodiac sign, this article cracked me up as it talks about the significance of this special moon: http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/2013/08/14/full-moon-in-aquarius-august-20-2013/). I am definitely a quirky, psychic Queen! The next such moon isn’t until June 2016, which will coincidentally mark the beginning of my last summer in Japan.
The term “once in a blue moon” means something rare. And this blue moon was not just any normal blue moon it was also a red moon and a Full Sturgeon moon. This moon was both a red moon and a blue moon, which strikes me to think of the symbolism of the two colors red and blue. I think of hot and cold especially in relationship to emotions, which is exactly what i was feeling on this night. I was feeling the passion to move forward and at the same time gripped by the icy hands of fear, knowing that change and unknown lies ahead. And 3moons later, i am feeling much more at ease, less afraid of my surroundings. When I first got here, I was terrified of the strange bugs that might be lurking in the grass, trees, beds, under the table, in my cubicle at work there were these black jumping attack spiders that would send me into a panic. pretty much everywhere I looked, everything looked different than what I had left in Alaska.
My weekly horoscope was just as foreboding and intuitive of the changes I was going through that week. Aquarius: "Every chapter of life is another page in the book you’re writing. A chapter begins on the next page and follows the previous, just one page away. So life does change, but like the chapters of a book, we do not erase our past. Those previous pages are important to the overall story. The next chapter is not a complete change, it’s just the next step. You can however, decide how this next chapter is going to change the story and thus the rest of the book. You are the author after all. Your intuition kicks up a notch at the end of the week, helping you plan your next steps. It’s time to be inventive. Your true self wants to shine."
and as Cherokee Billie the blogger, Spiritual Advisor and Inspiration, noted on her website our "HEIGHTENED EMOTIONS were due to multiple cosmic culprits: 1. The Moon was at its closest approach to Earth all Month. She seemed to be psychically aware of what our family was going through with this observation, "Have you noticed you are picking on little things for no good reason, having very random thoughts or other people seem to be having a go at you?" She further warned that "we are being influenced by the cosmic weather. The SUN was firing off M Class flares.....Whenever the surface of the SUN is flaring our own inner environment’s rise in awareness as we slough of the old ways in favor of the new and positive for our life." As I was flying across the pacific ocean i had this feeling of relief and a huge weight being lifted. I think it had to do with the realization that I had left the tribulations behind from the last 2 years at my job. They could no longer touch me and i would not be subjected to the infighting and abusse that had become so prevalent during the last year. I also have had this realization that there is no more need to focus on the past, except to let it go. I am ready to create my future.
Sometimes growth can feel weird and strange when you are no longer connecting to your past. But truly, the old way of living no longer works for me. I am experiencing new aspects of myself and life. I am giving birth to the new me, and giving birth is painful. This is real work. This is real growth. There is so much to celebrate. The more you love and value yourself. The more you have to give to others. I feel as though I am emerging from the ‘chrysalis’ and learning a whole new way to live. What am I trying to say here? Well mostly that I want to use this experience in Japan to become a better version of myself and that there are a lot of cosmic forces out there to suggest that this is the right time to undertake this transformation.
One thing that has given me great comfort these past 21 lunar cycles is to know that everyone that i miss so much is looking at the exact same moon that i am each night. So while I am missing my friends and family, i hope they know that this journey is one that I wish for them to experience with me and I hope that they come to visit. And everynight after I read the kids their bedtime story "Goodnight Moon" I will tuck them in and then go to my balcony and look at the moon and whisper "Godnight moon" and think of everyone who is not here with me.
Before I get into the meat of my adventures i need to process the significance of this adventure. My time here has been so interesting with all signs pointing to pass go; by saying that i mean that it has been magical, mystical, significant. Everywhere I turn, things are pushing me towards success and realizing my dreams with my family. This might sound odd to anyone who isn't living this reality but maybe with my presentation of evidence you too will agree. Most people that know me, know that I have a special connection with the #34, so when I found out that my new home in Japan would be at 34 degrees latitude, I started to wonder if there were greater forces at work here and what was in store. Since arriving in Japan I have just been inundated with the #34, the cell phone # for the phone my sponsor handed me when he left me at the base lodging that first night; the phone number of the person I bought my truck from on the 34th day of being here, funny story is that I bought the truck on a whim after waking up for no reason at 0500 and seeing the exact truck i wanted posted to the FB classified ads only moments before, I had no idea when I woke up that day that I would buy a truck and be driving by noon.
We arrived in Japan on August 20 after a week long stay at the beach in Hawaii. We definitely needed that week of R&R as it was an escape that was sandwiched between two of the most stressful weeks of my life! Moreso that week served as a time for me to completely let go of the stress, hurt and bitterness that i had internalized from the treatment i had been subjected to from my bosses and family leading up to my departure. That week in Hawaii was a very special time filled with the therapy of swimming, cooking and eating with my dearest. The night we arrived in Iwakuni was a full moon, but not just any regular full moon it was a blue moon, the 3rd of 4 full moons in a single season, it was the full moon in Aquarius (my zodiac sign, this article cracked me up as it talks about the significance of this special moon: http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/2013/08/14/full-moon-in-aquarius-august-20-2013/). I am definitely a quirky, psychic Queen! The next such moon isn’t until June 2016, which will coincidentally mark the beginning of my last summer in Japan.
The term “once in a blue moon” means something rare. And this blue moon was not just any normal blue moon it was also a red moon and a Full Sturgeon moon. This moon was both a red moon and a blue moon, which strikes me to think of the symbolism of the two colors red and blue. I think of hot and cold especially in relationship to emotions, which is exactly what i was feeling on this night. I was feeling the passion to move forward and at the same time gripped by the icy hands of fear, knowing that change and unknown lies ahead. And 3moons later, i am feeling much more at ease, less afraid of my surroundings. When I first got here, I was terrified of the strange bugs that might be lurking in the grass, trees, beds, under the table, in my cubicle at work there were these black jumping attack spiders that would send me into a panic. pretty much everywhere I looked, everything looked different than what I had left in Alaska.
My weekly horoscope was just as foreboding and intuitive of the changes I was going through that week. Aquarius: "Every chapter of life is another page in the book you’re writing. A chapter begins on the next page and follows the previous, just one page away. So life does change, but like the chapters of a book, we do not erase our past. Those previous pages are important to the overall story. The next chapter is not a complete change, it’s just the next step. You can however, decide how this next chapter is going to change the story and thus the rest of the book. You are the author after all. Your intuition kicks up a notch at the end of the week, helping you plan your next steps. It’s time to be inventive. Your true self wants to shine."
and as Cherokee Billie the blogger, Spiritual Advisor and Inspiration, noted on her website our "HEIGHTENED EMOTIONS were due to multiple cosmic culprits: 1. The Moon was at its closest approach to Earth all Month. She seemed to be psychically aware of what our family was going through with this observation, "Have you noticed you are picking on little things for no good reason, having very random thoughts or other people seem to be having a go at you?" She further warned that "we are being influenced by the cosmic weather. The SUN was firing off M Class flares.....Whenever the surface of the SUN is flaring our own inner environment’s rise in awareness as we slough of the old ways in favor of the new and positive for our life." As I was flying across the pacific ocean i had this feeling of relief and a huge weight being lifted. I think it had to do with the realization that I had left the tribulations behind from the last 2 years at my job. They could no longer touch me and i would not be subjected to the infighting and abusse that had become so prevalent during the last year. I also have had this realization that there is no more need to focus on the past, except to let it go. I am ready to create my future.
Sometimes growth can feel weird and strange when you are no longer connecting to your past. But truly, the old way of living no longer works for me. I am experiencing new aspects of myself and life. I am giving birth to the new me, and giving birth is painful. This is real work. This is real growth. There is so much to celebrate. The more you love and value yourself. The more you have to give to others. I feel as though I am emerging from the ‘chrysalis’ and learning a whole new way to live. What am I trying to say here? Well mostly that I want to use this experience in Japan to become a better version of myself and that there are a lot of cosmic forces out there to suggest that this is the right time to undertake this transformation.
One thing that has given me great comfort these past 21 lunar cycles is to know that everyone that i miss so much is looking at the exact same moon that i am each night. So while I am missing my friends and family, i hope they know that this journey is one that I wish for them to experience with me and I hope that they come to visit. And everynight after I read the kids their bedtime story "Goodnight Moon" I will tuck them in and then go to my balcony and look at the moon and whisper "Godnight moon" and think of everyone who is not here with me.
 |
| My $500 truck. |
 |
| My coworkers and new leadership |
 |
| the year of dreams! |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)