There are certain things that I seem to have a habit of losing. Keys, cell phones, ID cards and ATM/credit cards are the main ones. I would lose my head if it weren't attached
How'd it happen? I don't know. This time it is different. I didn't flush them down the toilet, I didn't lock them in the car with it still running and the toddler in the baby seat. I didn't leave them laying in the seat or in the ignition locked in. I was wrangling several bags in from the van. There were groceries, school bags, water bottles, a very large shithole of a purse and who knows what else. Max was throwing a fit for some reason. I probably didn't let him close the garage door or didn't give him both snacks because one was for his brother. Or committed some other travesty. I was distracted and had about ten billion things in my arms and in my mind and poof the keys fucking disappeared. I'm a magician I tell you!
Ever since I have spent the better part of my last 72 hours searching and cleaning fruitlessly to try and find them. It's funny because I clearly remember having them in my hand as I struggled to open the security door to the lobby while pleading with max to get out of the car. The last thing I remember is slipping them into a bag I was holding and thinking I better not lose these. And what the fuck?! I lost them. Since then I have emptied every bag. Cleaned every surface and even taken my bed apart. But still no keys. This has threatened both my sanity and to thwart my holiday weekend.
But there have been some bright spots. I couldn't go to work Wednesday, I had the cramps because wouldn't you know Aunt Flo decided this was the perfect time to drop her pain in the ass by for her monthly visit, so I called in sick. I alternated between advil, hot pack, lying around and searching my shit hole house and shit hole of a purse.
Wednesday night my sanity was at it's whits end so of course I had to hire a babysitter and go blow off some steam by getting drunk and singing karaoke at my favorite watering hole.
This left me with another conundrum. How was I going to leave my house? I had ridden my bike to work on Monday and left it there so not only did I have a van in the garage with no keys. I also had no bike at home to ride. I had to be creative and take a cab to the office Wednesday night to get my bike so that I would have it Thursday in the event I didn't find my keys. I was a little worried that I would be spotted out riding my bike around by my boss or a coworker but not enough that it kept me home.
Bikes at the bar
Of course singing and drinking all night led to an awesome hangover Thursday morning when I had to drag my ass out of bed and because I couldn't find my keys I rode my bike to the office. The hangover lent itself well to my previous sick day since I truly felt like shit at work Thursday.
Biking to work Thursday turned out to work in my favor because it was safety day and we had a BBQ and were released early to an alternate duty site. I.e. The BBQ pavilion. The afternoon was spent learning about topics like fire safety, ergonomics and not drinking excessively. Haha. Followed by an afternoon of lounging at the site drinking and talking I.e. Team building.
All the people that drove to work couldn't drink beer but lucky me! I lost my fucking keys and could drink! I thought to myself that this is working out quite well.
So enter Friday morning. Still no fucking keys. I had to cancel my plans to go to hiroshima for a fun day and instead have spent the better part of the day playing Sherlock Holmes. Thank god I have watson e.g. The man that puts up with my madness. He finally had enough if looking and has now gone out to get a new key made. This was no easy feat. He had to remove the lock from the door panel and make arrangements with our go to car guy Jim ford (real name). Jim is going to take him to the locksmith to get a new key made. Jim said he would go to make sure the locksmith charges the gaijin the fair Japanese price and not the gaijin markup. These locals we have friended sure know how to take care of us. Thank god!
It's things like this that really make me feel at a loss of what to do while living abroad. Back home my best friend since 3rd grade was from a family of locksmiths and a locksmith herself. I was rescued by her dad, brothers and herself more times than I care to admit or keep track of. I've never had to open up the yellow pages and let my fingers do the talking whenever I have had a lockout or key related emergency. You could say I've been living in a secure caccoon. So when I realized I was fucked, I was double fucked because I have never had to think about what to do in this situation. The answer was always easy. Call Gina.
Today I couldn't call her. But in a weird way she still rescued me because watson knew how to remove the key lock tumbler and door panel because he had watched her do it the time that my moms key mysteriously stopped working after she had parked her Subaru in the driveway. Come to find out it was because my mom had been using the key to an old Subaru that didn't even belong to her anymore. She had been using the wrong key for months and didnt know until it didn't work that day. But Gina came to my rescue and took out the lock and made a new key. Which is when she told me that the old key wasn't even the same.
Today I came to the conclusion that no matter where you are some things never change. You can't escape yourself and your shortcomings no matter the time zone or distance you put between your old life.
Now. Where is my fucking key?!
Shit. Where is my fucking cell phone??
I have a weekend to go enjoy.
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