in case you dont know I have accepted a job in Japan. I am moving to Japan in 45 days. Let me say that again...........I am moving to Japan in 45 days! I am in shock and cant seem to accept the reality of that statement. I have lived in the same town for 30 years! the same house for 16 years! and now i am moving to a place I have never been. A place where I dont speak the language, cant read the words on the signs, where they drive on the opposite side of the road and its tomorrow there! I am moving to tomorrow land. So many changes.
Today I am having anxiety and feeling like turning and running the other direction, pull the emergency stop cable and bring this freight liner to a sudden halt. I have set in motion the train and picked up so many passengers along the way that I dont think pulling the e-stop is even an option. And besides that I am really excited to reach the destination, even though I am terrified of the path that I have to take to get there and I have no idea how said destination will look, smell, or sound. Will I be able to perform to the expectations of my new boss? I will be doing a completely new job and doing it in a completely new work culture. there will only be one other woman in my office. I am so scared and so anxious for what the future will bring. I am nervous for Caia, starting her senior year of highschool, will she hate me for ruining her life or look back on this as a pivotal point in her life that forever changed the course, in a good way?
I feel like a crazy person right now because at the same time, I am sooooo excited! There will be all kinds of new adventures to be had. Travel throughout Asia will be a reality. The opportunity to learn a new language, eat new foods, and see many things I have never imagined! And to top it all off, I am going to the land of the hot springs, and I love to soak in a hot spring!
So yes, I am feeling very conflicted right now. But it also is making me feel very alive!
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